One common question our friends often ask is “Why is it always just the three of you travelling? Isn’t it easier if you have other family members helping to look after your child?” Travelling with extended family is the norm in our background culture (Chinese Indonesian). Many families will travel in a big group which can include grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunties, and uncles – the more the merrier!
Whether or not to travel with extended family really just depends on your preference. For us, while we absolutely adore our extended family, we prefer to travel alone because it is easier. Yes, EASIER!
Here are 9 reasons why we never travel with extended family:
We want to spend extra time with our son
Most working parents (including us) spend about 40 hours away from their children in a typical work week. So going on a family holiday is a special privilege to spend quality time and bond with children. Seeing the world through our son’s point of view gives us the purest joy.
We like to plan ahead (and stick to it)
Don’t enjoy planning for a family holiday? Then don’t even try planning for an extended family trip! If you’ve ever planned a holiday with another person or a group of people, you know that even picking travel dates alone can be very troublesome. And that’s only the beginning of a series of questions to follow.
Can they go during shoulder or low season to save money? Where will you stay? In a brand name five star hotel chain only? Who’s planning the itinerary? Is everyone on board with this plan? Will there be last minute changes? If you constantly have to compromise to keep the majority of the family group happy, your supposedly fun holiday can become frustrating and disappointing very quickly.
We want to maximise our family holiday time
Family holiday time is valuable time. We are early morning risers and prefer to start the day early to maximise our time at each destination. Since we have a young toddler with us, we also prefer to plan our days around his daily routine. We always take advantage of his nap time and strategizing ways to avoid the crowd.
However not everyone prefers this kind of travel. Some Asian style travel take half a day to get ready and come back to the hotel very late at night. Others prefer to have an early start but need to come back to the hotel for a routine nap in the afternoon. When you travel alone, you get to set your own pace without worrying the fitness level of each extended family members.
We want meal times to be simple
We are not massive foodies so we would never line up for hours for food just because it is on a friend’s recommended eating places. We prefer to eat local food, away from the main tourist areas with plenty of space for children to run around or people watch.
We would also hate to fly half way around the world just to eat the same food we would back home because a family member can’t survive a day without eating rice and Chinese food. It’s a mission to find a restaurant to cater for everyone’s taste buds. Furthermore requesting a big table so that everyone can sit together is almost impossible in some places like Japan.
We want to meet new people
We find meeting kind people in every destination is so addictive! Not just hotel staff, guides you hire, and people at the shops –they are supposed to be nice and helpful. We are talking about strangers helping with directions, locals helping to translate, giving tips how to save on train tickets, people starting conversations and welcoming you to their neighbourhood. People that are genuinely friendly and helpful – with no strings attached.
When going on a big extended family holiday, you will always be conversing with them and putting your attention on them. It is hard to be aware of your surroundings with distraction from others. But when you are on your own and free from such distractions, you will get to meet new people, start a conversation and possibly strike a new friendship. You might also see things you would otherwise miss.
We prefer to stay longer in one place
When you travel with a lot of other people, the trip becomes more about your shared experiences. If a holiday is about having a great time with your extended families and relatives, by all means go for it. But if you have different mindsets when it comes to travelling, whether it is more sightseeing, cultural, shopping or culinary, it is not fair to force your travel style on extended family members travelling in the group.
For us, less is more. We prefer to stay in one city for longer and avoid moving hotels every few days. Some people prefer to “go, go, go” trying to fit as many activities and sights as they can in a short period of time. Others prefer to chill and soak things in, not necessarily wanting to cover everything. These differing mentalities can clash when travelling together.
We want to tick our bucket list
When travelling with just your spouse and children, you get to see sights you are interested in. It is unfair for other adult family members to do kid’s stuff, at the same time it is unfair for your child to shop all the time. You don’t have to do things solely because a family member said, “We HAVE to go here,” or “My friend said this place is a MUST SEE.” The itinerary is 100% yours. You don’t have to worry about other family members not enjoying the daily activities.
We want more time to reflect
Travelling in a big group doesn’t give you much time on your own to gather your thoughts. To be thankful and to reflect on what aspects of your life you can improve on. For us, travelling is always a personal development tool. We always search for traits that we admire from other cultures.
When you travel in a big loud group, the way you see the world will not be the same. Your opinions tend to be affected by another’s point of view.
We want to learn new things along the way
Family travel makes you a better person and gives you great feeling of accomplishment. Without relying on help from others, you learn new skills. You learn to navigate through an unfamiliar public transport system. You learn to read a map and learn new phrases in a foreign language. You pay better attention to your new surroundings. You learn to be more street smart because you can only depend on yourself.
